Kingdom hearts Idol 2007
by XA
Summary: YOU vote, YOU chose the winner! Contestents are... EVERYONE! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [Minor Yaoi, random coupling, chracter bashing] Tonights contestent is TIDUS!
1. Intro

**Ok I know there is another KH Idol, that was like posted today or yesterday**. **Anyhw just hear me out... I came up wid da idea a couple days ago coz we just had New Zealand Idol... And thought Idol would be sooooo cool 4 KH so i wrote one and posted it (aka this) I told my friend where it was and she was like, dude this isn't ur name. I took a look at the link and lo behold there was ANOTHER KH Idol! I am pissed coz nw it looks lik i copied them BUT I DNT CARE ANYMORE I CAME UP WID DIS IDEA A FEW DAYS AGO AND IM STILL GONNA WRITE IT! Please dont flame me, OR ILL SET MY FRIENDS ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok sorry for that rant. Omfg that is scary though.. **

Disclaimer: I don't own American Idol (or any Idol) and I don't own Final Fantasy or Kingdom hearts

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(Theme song plays overhead. Screen shows a wild crowd jumping up and down next to a stage. Its all dark on the stage and the crowd goes quite. There is suddenly an explosion and the stage lights up with neon flashing lights and dazzling fireworks. Standing in the middle is the host)

Host: Hello and welcome tothe first annul Kingdom hearts Idol, 2006! (Crowd screams)

Host: I'ld like to welcome our three amazing judges! Barret, Rinoa, and Ansem! (crowd stop screaming as soon as the host says Ansems name, he pulls a face)

Host: (starts laughing) Tough crowd tonight eh?

Ansem: (mutters) Got that right... (crowd start to boo and hiss)

Barret: Haha you stupid !&!$, no ones loves you.

Ansem: (Stands up) What you say? Say that again to my face &!$&!

Barret: (shouts) I SAID, NO ONE LOVES YOU YOU STUPID MOTHA F-

Host: (cuts Barret off with a cough) Ahem, ah looks like time for a add break folks!

(Theme music plays as you hear Barret and Ansem still going at it. Commercials end and the screen goes back to Idol, with Ansem now sporting a new black eye)

Host: (nervously) Hey peoples we are back! Are you ready to meet the contestants?

Crowd: Yes!

Host: You really sure?

Crowd: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Host: (chuckles) Well here you are introducing, Tidus! Yuna! Sora! Riku! Cloud! Squall (Host gets glare from Leon) I mean Leon! Cid! Yuffie! Tifa! and last but not least... Ansem!?!? (all contests look at each other confused as Ansem strides on stage) (crowd gasp)

Rinoa: Ummmm... I thought judges weren't allowed to be contestents?

Ansem: Well I'm not a judge anymore! I replaced myself with some random guy on the street.. (everybody looks at random brown haired guy that just appeared in Ansems seat.

Simon: I'm not random you freak. I am an actual judge thank you very much.

Barret: Sup homey g!

Simon:'...'

Rinoa: Haha you got owned!

Barret: Shud up! (Shakes fist at her but doesn't do anything)

Host: Ummmm ok... Looks like Ansem is now a contestent! (Only one person in the crowd screams, and is quickly slienced with a loud whack)

Random Crowd Person: Owie...

Host: So Ansem, why do you want to be a contest?

Ansem: I want to show that fat lard (glares at Barret, who is busy looking down Rinoas top) that I am loved.

Barret: Ahuh...Whatever... (Still looking down top)

Host: Well thats all we have time for today! Till next time!

(Contestents wave at screen, Barret tries to put his hand down Rinoa top, who slaps it away)

(End theme song play with credits)

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**Hehehe, Barrets quite naughty isn't he? Poor Rinoa! Woo what Im gona do is one contest will sing with each update, and at the end YOU vote for the winner! Don't worry about missing ppls such as Org XIII, They will be coming in soon  
**

**Don't forget to review and tell me what you think!**


	2. Cloud Strife

**Thaxs ppl for revewing! Dnt worry the characters will b in soon that u requested -eyes dart evily around the room- (yay kaitlin 4 reviewing for me, im deicating dis one TOO YOU! Cya at school on Monday) I honestly DID NOT know there was another Kingdom Hearts Idol. Hey, I see it as a challenge so It will make me write beta (hopefully anyhw..) and I dont own da characters and song  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FF or KH or 'Im to sexy'**

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(Theme music plays, crowd jumping up and down yelling while the host stands on stage)

Host: Hey people welcome to tonights show! Did cha miss me? Well any way, let me introduce our lovely judges, Barret! (Barret pumps arm into the air) Rinoa! (Blushs and waves at crowd) And random guy!

Simon: I have a name you know...

Barret: Well thats just to bad!

Rinoa: Jeez clam down. Your grumpy coz he snobbed you arn't you?

Barret: Nope... (talks to her chest)

Rinoa: Oh my god stop talking to my boobs!

Host: Ummmm ad break people? (Screen shows a few ads and then comes back to Idol, with a very grumpy Rinoa and a Red-Faced Barret)

Host: Hi and welcome back. It is time for our first contestent, CLOUD STRIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (fangirls start jumping up and down, Cloud walks to the center of the stage)

Host: So what will you be singing today?

Cloud: (mumbles)

Host: Pardon?

Cloud: Imtosexy...

Host: Ok here you go folks! Cloud Strife singing... Something!

(Lights flash and Cloud stands in the middle of the stage. Music starts to play 'Im to Sexy')

Cloud:

I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me

(Fan girls start to swoon. Random Fangirl throws a red g-sting which lands on one of Clouds spikes in his hair)

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt  
So sexy it hurts

(Cloud takes off his shirt and swings it around his finger, and then throws it at Leon with a suggestive wink. Leon blushes)

And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan  
New York and Japan

And I'm too sexy for your party  
Too sexy for your party  
No way I'm disco dancing

I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I do my little turn on the catwalk

(Starts doing the cat walk strutt with the red g-string still on his blonde spikes, shirtless)

I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car  
Too sexy by far  
And I'm too sexy for my hat  
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

(Cloud shakes his ass at the crowd, in his tight leather pants. Half the crowd faints or drools. A red lacy bra nearly lands on clouds hair but it misses, landing on Tifa instead)

I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my

'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat  
Poor pussy poor pussy cat  
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me

(Clouds starts to dirty dance. Rest of the crowd faints with happiness)

And I'm too sexy for this song

(Cloud poses as the music stops. Only people clapping are Barret, Simon, the contestents (besides Yuffie, Tifa, and Leon) and the host as everyone has fainted from Clouds sexy moves. Rinoa is passed out at the judges table drool dribbling out of her mouth while Leon is daydreaming while wearing Clouds shirt and seems to have a large bulge in his pants)

Host: Wow thats a first. You managed to make everyone in the crowd pass out. Even the men...

Cloud: '...'

Host: So judges, what do you think?

Barret: It was the shiz

Rinoa: 'ZzZzZzZzZz'

Simon: You managed to wow the crowd, but you didn't wow me.

(Crowd who have started to get over their daze start booing and hissing. A tomato splats Simon square on the middle of his head)

Barret: He's better than you are you F$!& wit (crowd nodd in agreement)

Rinoa: 'ZzZzZzZzZz'

Simon: (pulls finger)

Barret: (Starts shooting him with his gun)

Host: (shouts over fighting) OK FOLKS, SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF CLOUD STRIFE?

(Crowd scream and throw more stuff at Cloud. Cloud ends up with 3 bras and 1 g-string again in his hair)

Host: WELL THATS ALL WE HAVE TIME FOR FOLKS! TILL NEXT TIME

(End credits theme song plays, credits play. Screen goes blank)

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Woooo I like this one. I don't own anything in this story etc. CLOUD IS SEXI!!!!


	3. Tifa Lockheart

**Woooo more reviews! I feel loved! Don't worry the main chracters will sing soon and there will be the theme songs.. I'm doing Tifa this time coz me and my friend came up with a good song for her... Please note that this will probably end up a 2007 Kingdom Hearts Idol as I'm gonna put pretty much EVERYONE from the FinalFantasy and Kingdomhearts series (well all the important ppls, and ppl who are requested). Heh this could be awhile before this is finished... Thaxs to all the ppl who reviewed! I had to cut a bit from the song as it was abit.. long. If you have any good ideas for a good song for a chracter, don't hesitate to tell me! All comments welcomed! Anyhw enough talking! On with the... story?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the songs (nah duh)**

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(Theme song plays over head as the screen goes to the stage. Fangirls are jumping up and down with T-shirts and signs that say stuff like 'Clouds to sexi for his pants, take em of!')

Host: Hey people of this world! Welcome to Kingdom Hearts Idol! (Crowd scream)

Host: And here are your lovly contestents! (All the contestents smile and wave as they walk to their seats, and there seems to be more of them...)

Host: And how could I forget our lovely... Judge? (screen goes to the judges table, where a bored Rinoa is throwing paper darts at the host)

Rinoa: (In a bored tone) Simon and Barret are still fighting.

Host: Oh... Why am I never imformed on these things? Anyhow, let me introduce tonights contestent, TIFA LOCKHEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Crowd goes wild with men jumping up and down like Fangirls. There are a few boos and hisses from the girls. Tifa walks on stage with a mini skirt and tight boob tube which make her... assests stand out even more)

Tifa: Hey guys! (Does a meek little wave)

Host: So Tifa, what are you singing today?

Tifa: (exclaims loudly) My Humps!

Host: Ok people! Tifa Lockheart with My Humps!

Tifa: Ahhhh they are my humps. Not yours!

Host: I never said they were mine!

Tifa: Yes, yes you did!

Host: No I didn't!

Tifa: Yes you did!!!

Cid: GED ON WITH IT YOU LAZY SODS

Host: Tifa with the SONG my humps (glares at Tifa and walks off the stage)

(Music plays. Tifa twirls and swirls around the stage, flashing her underwear. She starts to move her chest up and down Fergie styles)

Tifa and Some random guy (that is NOT Simon)

What you gon' do with all that junk?  
All that junk inside your trunk?  
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off my hump.  
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump  
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out) 

(Tifa does more... Chest moves)

I drive these brothers crazy,  
I do it on the daily,  
They treat me really nicely,  
They buy me all these ice-ys.  
dolce & Gabbana,  
Fendi and then Donna  
Caring, they be sharin'  
All their money got me wearin' fly  
Brother I ain't askin,  
They say they love my ass in  
Seven Jeans, True Religion,  
I say no, but they keep givin'  
So I keep on takin'  
And no I ain't TAKEN  
We can keep on datin'  
I keep on demonstrating.

(Even more... Chest moves. Men are going wild and the women are booing and hissing)

My love, my love, my love, my love You love my lady lumps,  
My hump, my hump, my hump,  
My humps they got you,  
She's got me spending.  
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.  
She's got me spendin'.  
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me

(Rinoa 'accidently' threw a paper dart at Tifa, which stabs her in the eye)

Rinoa: Oooops.

Random Guy that is NOT Simon:

I met a girl down at the disco. She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go. I could be your baby, you can be my honey Let's spend time not money. And mix your milk wit my cocoa puff, Milky, milky cocoa puff, Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

Tifa:

Owie Im blind im Blind!! AUGH! Ummmmmmmm (starts blindly singing and dancing, nearly falling off the stage)

They say I'm really sexy, The boys they wanna sex me. They always standin' next to me, Always dancing next to me, Tryin' a feel my hump, hump. Lookin' at my lump, lump. You can look but you can't touch it,  
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,  
You don't want no drama,  
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama  
So don't pull on my hand boy,  
You ain't my man, boy,  
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,  
And move my hump.

(Tifa is getting closer to the edge... All the Women are screaming, hoping... waiting..)

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,  
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.  
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)  
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)  
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)  
In the back and in the front (lumps)  
My lovin' got you,  
She's got me spendin'.  
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.  
She's got me spendin'.  
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.

(Even closer now... Everyone is holding their breath, not moving a muscle)

What you gon' do with all that junk?  
All that junk inside that trunk?  
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off my hump,  
What you gon' do wit all that ass all that ass  
Inside them jean's  
i'm gonna make you scream make you scream make you scream

What you gon' do with all that junk?  
All that junk inside that trunk?  
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off this hump,  
What you gon' do wit all that breast?  
All that breast inside that shirt?  
I'ma make, make, make, make you work  
Make you work, work, make you work.

She's got me spendin'. ohSpendin all your money on me and spendin' time on me  
She's got me spendin'.  
ohSpendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Tifa falls off the stage, exposing her boobs to the crowd. Everyone has a look)

Random Crowd Person: OMG THEY ARE FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tifa: No they are not! (Runs blindly off, and manages to run into the wall and knock herself out)

Host: Oh my god they are...

Cloud: Tifa! When you get them done?

Rinoa: I knew it.. I knew it all along...

Host: Well thats all we have time for.Till next time!

(Theme song plays, credits roll. Screen shows Everyone taking a look before going blank)

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Ok, so Im chracter bashing a wee bit.. But Im not meaning 2 upset people, its just for fun, k? Till next time folks!


	4. Kairi

**Wooo another chappie! Not bad for two days! Thax for the people reviewing -hands out cookies- Now on with the story! **

**I Don't own the Song or Characters. **

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(Theme song plays over head. The screen goes to the Host standing in the middle of the stage, the contestant's surrounding it.)

Host: Hey folks! And welcome to tonight's show of KINGDOM HEARTS IDOL! Can I hear a woop woop?

Crowd: Woop woop!

Host: I cant' hear you! Do it again but louder! Ok, ready? CAN I HEAR A WOOP WOOP?!?!

Crowd: WOOOOOP WOOOOOP!

Host: Now that's more like it! Now let me show you our contestants tonight! Cloud! Tifa! Sora! Riku! Tidus! Yuna! Wakka! Cid! Yuffie! Ansem (Crowd groans at the mention of Ansem's name).And Leon!!!!!!!!!!

(Crowd screams. Many start stabbing Voodoo pulsies that look a lot like Yuna…)

Clocked guy: (Randomly appears on stage with heaps of othera) What about us?

Host: Huh? Wha….? Where you come from?

Clocked guy: None of your damn business. Me and my group are apart of this thing now. Got it memorized?

Host: (Starts spluttering angrily) What! Hell no, you are not participating in this! Ansem was an exception, and he is bad enough. There is no way on t- (Host is cut off by his arse catching on fire. Clocked guy and co all take off their hoods to reveal them selves).

Red Head Guy: Presenting… Organization XIII and add ons!

Host: OUCH!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH MY ASS MY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kairi: (Puts Hosts ass out of its misery) Axel, was that necessary?

Axel: Yes, yes it was. Got it memorized?

Barret: Shut the fuck up with the whole memorized thing.

Rinoa: (Gasps) Oh my gosh! Your swearing didn't come up in little swearing thingys!

Barret: Oooops…. DON'T FIRE ME PLEASE BOSS DON'T FIRE ME!!!! AHHHH

Random Voice Over Guy aka The Boss: Too late Barret. You are the weakest link, goodbye! (Hole appears under Barret's chair and he comically falls down it). Great, now I need to replace two judges. Anyone want the job? (Nobody puts their hand up). Not even for $100,000,000,000 munny per hour? (Everyone puts their hand up, even the Host)

The Boss: Ok, you… And you…. Common down! (Does game show voice. The random crowd people make their way to the judges table.)

The Boss: Introduce yourselves, I have…. More important things to deal with…

Host: Rightyo. So, whats your names and tell us alittle bit about your self.

White Haired Guy: My name is unrelevant. I am only here for the munny. I shall tell you it though. They call me Sephiroth. That is all you need to know.

Monkey Boy: (Stretches his arm, and puts them around Rinoa's shoulders, his tail tickles his ear) How you doin…

Rinoa: '….'

Monkey Boy: Aw fine you can wait. Dagger would kill me…

Person from the Crowd: To right I would Zidane!

Zidane: (scratches head) Yer, umm my name is Zidane Tribunal. (Suddenly jumps up and waves at camera) Hey Boss I'm on TV.

Host: Heh nice to meet you (Starts to mutters) I can't take this anymore…..

Kairi: Ummmm, can I like, sing now?

Host: Yer sure, whatever…. I don't care anymore.

The Boss: Ahem.

Host: (Suddenly perks up with a fake smile on his face. Zidane is still waving at the camera and doing shout outs)

Zidane: …And I also wanna say hi to Kuja, wait no he's dead… Oh and I wanna say hi to that lady with the big sword and hooters to match….

Host: (Clears throat loudly. Zidane makes a 'O' noise and sits in his chair and sulks). So what will you be singing today?

Kairi: Sanctuary.

(Crowd gasps, and start screaming very loudly. Even louder than when Cloud took off his shirt…)

Host: Here you go folks! Kairi with SANCTUARY!

Sora & Riku: GO KAIRI! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kairi:

wonk uoy naht niotceffa erom deen I (Crowd try and sing the other language, but fail)

In you and I there's a new land  
Angels in Flight  
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I  
My sanctuary, my sanctuary yeah  
Where fears and lies melt away  
Music will tie  
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I  
What's left of me, what's left of me now

(Crowd mysteriously have lit candles and are swaying)

I watch you, fast asleep  
All I fear means nothing  
In you and I there's a new land  
Angels in Flight  
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I  
My sanctuary, my sanctuary yeah  
Where fears and lies melt away  
Music will tie  
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I  
What's left of me, what's left of me

snwod dna spu ynam oS  
My heart's a battleground  
noitome eurt deen I  
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I  
noitome eurt deen I

(The crowd try to sing along, and at that very moment, they find out they can't sing)

You show me how to see that nothing is whole and nothing is broken  
In you and I there's a new land  
Angels in Flight  
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I  
My sanctuary, my sanctuary yeah  
Where fears and lies melt away  
Music will tie  
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I  
What's left of me, what's left of me now

(Kairi bows and people throw their candles at her with joy. Sadly for Kairi they are still on fire)

Kairi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (runs off the stage, Sora and Riku chase after her)

Wakka: Jeez mon, lota people geddin on fire today yah?

Host: Well judges, wot do you think anyway?

Rinoa: (Stabs Kairi voodoo doll and mumbles, her eyes darting evily around the room. Her hair is a mess and Zidane and Sephiroth look scared) to good... die DIE!!

Zidane: It was good, NOW SAVE ME!

Sepiroth: Give me the munny so I can escape this mad creature...

Host: Well thats all for now folks! Till next time...!

(End theme song plays and credits roll. The last thing you see is Kairi running back on stage her arse still on fire and Riku and Sora running after her with a bucket of water before the screen goes blank)

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Poor Zidane and Sepiroth! Yay everyone else has been introduced. Sorry that all your favs hardly say anything (or nothing at all) like Roxas etc, I'm gonna try beta do put them in, k? Till next time Folks!


	5. Wakka

**Yay im back! Heres another action packed ((cough)) award winning ((COUGH)) ep of KINGDOM HEARTS IDOL!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the song or PSP  
**

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(Lights flash as the the theme song plays over head. The crowd is cheering as the host stands on the middle of the stage, the conestents at the side sitting down)

Host: Hello folks! And welcome to another episode of KINGDOM HEARTS IDOL 2006!

Crowd: Yay

Host: And let me introduce tonights hosts, Zidane (Playing on PSP), Rinoa (hair all messy, eyes darting around the room), and Speiroth! (Poking Rinoa with his large sword)

Speiroth: This creature isn't human...

Zidane: Look whos talking (Zidane frowns in concentration as he gets to the final boss on his game)

Speiroth: You can't say much either, monkey boy.

Zidane: (Looks up from PSP) You've gotta point there... (Looks back, and cries out in dismay) You killed me!

Speiroth: Haha you little twirp.

Host: We will be right back after a message from our sponsers.

(Ads. Screen goes back to the Idols)

Cloud: Leon, will you marry me?

Everyone: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! (Leon goes bright red)

Cloud: I'm just joking jeez

Leon: (Shakes head) That wasn't funny you know

Cloud: Whatever.

Leon: Thats my line!

Yuffie: Aw their first fight as a coupl-

Leon & Cloud: YUFFIE!

Yuffie: Ooops! Sorry I'll shut up now.

Zell: Eww, are you guys like going out? (Leon and Cloud go bright red)

Sora: We thought you were joking about the wedding stuff...

Axel: EWWW I HAVE NASTY TOUGHTS IN MY HEAD! Then again, they aren't that nasty... (Starts to wank. Everyone goes 'ewww' and Axel gets kicked off the stage)

Roxas: WAIT FOR ME AXEL! (Jumps off the stage)

Wakka: Bro, being gay.. dats like against da religon and all!

Cloud: Screw the Yevon religon. (Yuna, Wakka, Auron, and Lulu gasp)

Leon: (whispers) I don't think you should have said that... (The air becomes tense)

Host: (very quickly) Let me introduce tonights Idol, WAKKA!

Wakka: Wot? I though it was Riku..

Host: To bad, your up!

Wakka: Mon, was ur problem? (Wakka gets up and goes to the middle of the stage)

Host: So heres Wakka singing...?

Wakka: I like big butts. (Crowd starts to laugh. Music plays over head and the crowd stop laughing when they realize that Wakkas talking about the song)

Wakka:

I like big butts and I can not lie  
You other brothers can't deny  
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist  
And a round thing in your face  
You get sprung  
Wanna pull up tough  
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed  
Deep in the jeans she's wearing  
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring  
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya  
And take your picture  
My homeboys tried to warn me  
But that butt you got  
Make Me so horney  
Ooh, rump of smooth skin  
You say you wanna get in my benz  
Well use me use me cuz you aint that average groupy

(Wakka starts shaking his ass at the crowd, causing them to spew)

I like'em round and big  
And when I'm throwin a gig  
I just can't help myself  
I'm actin like an animal  
Now here's my scandal

(People start to scream with fright as Wakka tries to dirty dance, Cloud styles)

I wanna get you home  
And UH, double up UH UH  
I aint talkin bout playboy  
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys  
I wannem real thick and juicy  
So find that juicy double  
Mixalot's in trouble  
Beggin for a piece of that bubble  
So I'm lookin' at rock videos  
Knockin these bimbos walkin like hoes  
You can have them bimbos  
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo  
A word to the thick soul sistas  
I wanna get with ya  
I won't cus or hit ya  
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna --  
Til the break of dawn  
Baby Got it goin on  
Alot of pimps won't like this song  
Cuz them punks lie to hit it and quit it  
But I'd rather stay and play  
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong  
And I'm down to get the friction on

So ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah)  
Do you wanna roll in my Mercedes (yeah)  
Then turn around  
Stick it out  
Even white boys got to shout  
Baby got back

(More spewing from the crowd)

Yeah baby When it comes to females  
Cosmo ain't got nothin to do with my selection  
36-24-36  
Only if she's 5'3"

So your girlfriend throws a Honda  
Playin workout tapes by Fonda  
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda  
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun  
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt  
Some brothers wanna play that hard role  
And tell you that the butt ain't gold  
So they toss it and leave it  
And I pull up quick to retrieve it  
So cosmo says you're fat  
Well I ain't down with that  
Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin  
And I'm thinkin bout stickin  
To the beanpole dames in the magazines  
You aint it miss thing  
Give me a sista I can't resist her  
Red beans and rice did miss her  
Some knucklehead tried to dis  
Cuz his girls were on my list  
He had game but he chose to hit 'em  
And pulled up quick to get with 'em  
So ladies if the butt is round  
And you wanna triple X throw down  
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT and kick them nasty thoughts  
Baby got back  
Baby got back  
Little in tha middle but she got much back x4

(Wakka spanks his arse as the song ends)

Ansem: AUGH IM BLINDED FROM THAT HORRIFIC SIGHT

Host: (Overs his eyes with his hands in pain) For once I agree with him!

Lulu: My ass is not that big!

Wakka: Uhoh (runs off stage, Lulu gives chase)

Host: What you think judges...?

(Rinoa has stabbed herself in the chest with a butter knife. Sepiroth and Zidane are taking turns puking into a bucket. Unfortunately Zidane misses and gets it all over Sepiroth)

Host: Well thats all we have time for folks! Till next time augh... (Runs over and spews in the bucket)

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Heheheh if you dont like it... then blame it on me being sick ok? (Like pucking sick, not perverted) Wowie will Leon and Cloud get married? Well you will have to tune into the next KINGDOM HEARTS IDOL WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


	6. Marluxia

**Yes people I am still alive! I've been grounded for doing nothing ((cough)) heh heh... Nah I got in trouble 4 not cleaning my room... I can't help that Im lazy! Sesh... Anyhow I have camp for the next FOUR DAYS. I don't mind camp though.. Anyhow heres another, long awaited KH IDOL! (I'll try and update asap as soon as I get home, but Im going to my dads... Augh so much to do, so little time). This one is mainly on Marluxia and Larxene, please bear with me if your a Sora and Riku... Riku will be singing after Marluxia, and the next one, Larxene. Yay for me.  
**

**I don't own the song or chracters or Lord of the rings.**

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(Theme song plays over head. The screen goes to the Host standing in the middle of the stage, the contestant's surrounding it. Lights flash)

Host: Hey folks! And welcome to tonight's show of KINGDOM HEARTS IDOL!

Crowd: Yay (More lights flash. You see Marluxia wondering around with a Vodka bottle, looking very drunk, and scruffy, aka he hes the homeless look going on, except homeless people don't usally have big scythe...)

Marluxia: (Sluring) Pwedddy Lissghts.

Xemnas: Stupid noob.

Axel: Agreeing with the almighty highness.

Xemnas: '...' (glares at Axel)

Marluxia: Larxene, will yoush marry meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? Pweezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I know yoush wantss toooooooooooo.

Larxene: No! You fithly drunk.

Marluxia: I gives you lots of munnys

Larxene: (Suddenly looks every interested) How much

Marluxia: Lots and lots, yesh... $99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 munnys!

Sora: (Whispers into Rikus ear) Is there even that much out there?

Riku: (Whispers into Sora's ear) Probably not.

Larxene: Oh, alright.

(Everyone looks at the scene in silence. Larxene suddenly notices).

Larxene: What you looking at? (Suddenly jumps up, knifes showing between her fingers. Rest off Org XIII stop her from attacking the Host)

Host: (Nervously plays with coller) Be right back after ads folks!

(Ads play and the screen goes back to idol. Host is standing in da middle of the stage, while Marluxia is still wondering around with his Vodka bottle)

Kairi: (Whispers into Sora's and Riku's ear) Why doesn't anyone stop him? (Sora and Riku shrug their shoulders)

Sepiroth: ((cough))

Host: Wha...? Oh right, I forgot all about our judges! Zidane, Aeris, and Sepiroth!

Crowd: Yay.

Zidane: Hey, Marluxia, give us some!

Marluxia: No! Mine! All mine! My prescious... (Starts to do Golem voice and pat the bottle)

Random Crowd Person: Just hurry up with the song!

Rest of crowd: Yer!

Host: Ok up tonight is... (Checks little envelope thingy) Uh-oh. Marluxia.

Marluxia: (starts dancing around) YAY ME! ME! ME!

Crowd: '...'

Host: Soooo, what are you going to be singing-

Marluxia: Coz I high.

Host: Ok, here you have it, Marluxia SINGING BECAUSE I GOT HIGH!

(One person claps)

Marluxia: Hey mummy! Im on TV! (Waves at old lady in the crowd)

Old Lady: Do your best my son!

(Music starts to play. Marluxia stumbles to the middle of the stage)

Marluxia:

I was gonna clean my room until I got high  
I gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high  
my room is still messed up and I know why  
- cause I got high

(Shakes bottle at crowd. People start to snigger)

I was gonna go to class before I got high  
I coulda cheated and I coulda passed but I got high  
I am taking it next semester and I know why  
- cause I got high

(More sniggering. Some start to laugh real loud)

I was gonna go to work but then I got high  
I just got a new promotion but I got high  
now I'm selling dope and I know why  
- cause I got high

(Marluxia gives the thumbs up to his mother. The whole crowd are laughing out loud now)

I was gonna go to court before I got high  
I was gonna pay my child support but then I got high  
they took my whole paycheck and I know why  
- cause I got high

(Larxenes mouth drops open at the mention child support)

I wasnt gonna run from the cops but I was high  
I was gonna pull right over and stop but I was high   
Now I am a paraplegic - because I got high

(People are now rolling around on the ground laughing. The host is crying on the ground with laughter. Zidane and Sephiroth are having dart game, and are having trouble aiming at the board coz of their laughter, and end up stabing Tifa in the eye again)

Tifa: OMFG IM BLIND AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! (falls off stage again. People laughing harder than ever. Cloud is pointing and laughing while Tifa runs around blind again)

Marluxia:

I was gonna pay my car note until I got high  
I was gonna gamble on the boat but then I got high  
now the tow truck is pulling away and I know why  
- because I got high

I was gonna make love to you but then I got high   
I was gonna eat yo pussy too but then I got high  
now I'm jacking off and I know why  
- cause I got high

(Everyone eyes go wide. People start going 'EWWWWWWWWW' & 'NASTY!'. Larxene suddenly goes very red..)

I messed up my entire life because I got high  
I lost my kids and wife because I got high  
now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why  
- cause I got high

(Crowd gets over their shock of the disturbing verse, and start laughing hardcore again. Some people start to gasp, as they have run out of breath)

I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high  
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high  
and if I dont sell one copy I know why

- cause I'm high

(People start to faint with the lack of breath. Marluxias eyes suddenly roll to the back of his head and he passes out)

Host: (gasp) Someone take him (wheeze) off stage.

Zidane: Oww I want some Vodka.

Sephiroth: (Whacks Zidane around the head) Stupid monkey boy.

Host: (Gasp) I think I'm gonna past out... (Gasp) till next time folks!

(End credits play. You see a annoyed Larxene pull the finger at Marluxia, who is getting dragged off stage.

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Ummm, yer...


	7. Larxene

**Hey peoples, I'm back YAY! Sorry for not updating, had school camp. Sorry if this update is lame coz I just got home a hour ago, and I'm abit sleepy... But I shall try my hardest! This one is like part II to the Murlaxia one.. Sorry that this one is sort.. need to sleep.. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Sorry if its lame. This is what a week of hiking and lollies does to ya  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the chracters or songs. I you think that, I advise you to get off crack.**

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(Theme music plays overhead. You see the crowd jumping up and down holding signs such as 'I WANT TO HAVE LEONS BABIES', and 'I WANT WHAT EVER MARLUXIA IS ON!', and 'TIFA IS TURNING INTO MICHEAL JACKSON', and 'WHERE THE HELL IS RIKU AND SORA?' You also see Marluxia with another drink of some sort again, with grumpy contestants sitting next to him.)

Host: HELLO PEOPLE! HELLO AND WELCOME TO KINGDOM HEARTS IDOL, 2006 AD.

Crowd: (Clap, scream etc) Yay yay yay!

Host: Folks, don't forget to say hello to our lovely judges, Zidane! Sephiroth!... and Aeris?

Zidane: Wekindakilledherwithoutmeaningtoo. (translation - we kinda killed her without meaning too.)

Host: (Sighs) How this time?

Sephiroth: (in a bored tone) Zidane used my sword to get the fly on her head. I think you get the idea.

Host: (Shakes head) You need to stop killing people!

Zidane: It was an accident jeez (starts to sulk)

Host: (Sighs and tries to look happy again) Boy, are we gonna have to have fun tonight! (Crowd laughs)

Paine: (Grumbles) Not if we are stuck with this disgusting, smelly hobo (glares at Marluxia)

Sora: (is sitting on the other side of Paine, who is next to a very homeless lookinh Marluxia) Its not that bad- WHOA (Jumps back as he gets a whiff, Sora starts to make spewing motions)

Axel: Nasty!

Yuna: Oh my gosh! Go and have a shower! Ewwwww, look at your nails!

(Crowd crain their heads to see his barefeet. They all gasp when they discover HE HAS HOBBIT FEET!)

Crowd: EWWWWWWWWW

Random Crowd Person: OMG HES GOLEM!

Host: Gross, s/he is right!

Axel: Yet again, NASTY! Got it memor- (gets interupted by Xigbar)

Xigbar: (drawls in a bored voice) Memorized. (Axel glares at him, but doesn't say any thing)

Riku & Sora: (In sync) OWNED! OWNED!

Seifer: Omg they talk in SYNC AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! (runs off stage. Crowd sliently watches)

Host: Ok, ad time!

(Ads play, screen goes back to the Idol, with a disturbed Seifer gently rocking himself and muttering)

Seifer:(mutters) The voices... There back... Leave me alone...

Host: Erm.. right... Anyhow, time for our next contestant, LARXENE!

Larxene: (Sarcasticly) Oh what fun.

Host: (Glares) And what will you be singing?

Larxene: Call me when your Sober, and its deicated to Marluxia. (Crowd do the Jerry Springer gasp)

Random Crowd Person: SCANDAL!

(Host goes to say something, but the music starts, and interupts it. The host wonders off stage grumpily)

Larxene:

(Turns and faces Marluxia, who's sculling his rum. Tidus is eyeing it up)

Don't cry to me.  
If you loved me,  
You would be here with me.  
You want me,  
Come find me. Should I let you fall?  
Lose it all?  
So maybe you can remember yourself.  
Can't keep believing,  
We're only deceiving ourselves .  
And I'm sick of the lie,  
And you're too late.

(Marluxia looks shocked and a little sober. Tidus is still eyeing the rum)

Don't cry to me.  
If you loved me,  
You would be here with me.  
You want me,  
Come find me.  
Make up your mind.

(Marluxia's mouth is hanging open. Crowd gasp at the beauty of her voice. Tidus starts to slowly sneak towards the rum)

Couldn't take the blame.  
Sick with shame.  
Must be exhausting to lose your own game.  
these lyrics found on  
Selfishly hated,  
No wonder you're jaded.  
You can't play the victim this time,  
And you're too late.

(Tidus is only a foot away from the bottle now, but no one notices)

Don't cry to me.  
If you loved me,  
You would be here with me.  
You want me,  
Come find me.  
Make up your mind.

(Marluxia looks completly sober now. Tidus has his hand on the bottle now)

You never call me when you're sober.  
You only want it cause it's over,  
It's over.

How could I have burned paradise?  
How could I - you were never mine.

(Tidus grabs the bottle, but no one notices as all eyes are on Larxene and Marluxia, who started slowly walking to her)

So don't cry to me.  
If you loved me,  
You would be here with me.  
Don't lie to me,  
Just get your things.  
I've made up your mind.

(Crowd roar and cheer and clap)

Marluxia: I'm... I'm sorry

Host: Looks like he means it folks! (Marluxia and Larxene glare at the host)

Larxene: '...'

Marluxia: Can you ever.. forgive me? I shall never drink again, I swear on my non-exsistent heart.

Larxene: (smiles) Only if you shave and brush your teeth. (Marluxia picks her up bride styles and kisses her passionitly)

Crowd: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Host: Well there you have it folks! Till next time...

Tidus: I GOT THE BOOZE! YAY! (Yuna slaps him upside the head)

(Theme song plays over head. Marluxia carries Larxene off and Axel tries to follow, but Roxas restrains him)

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Omg sorry its lame.  



	8. Riku

**Yay another esp! Woop woop! Sorry that the last one was so lame, I was rather tired. Zzzzzzzz lol. Please don't kill me if your an Emo and find some parts of this offensive.  
**

**Go Riku YAY!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KH or FF or the songs.**

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(Theme music play's overhead. Lights flash and then return to normal. Standing in the middle of stage is the host and all the contestants seating in their respectful seats.)

Host: Hello people! How are we feeling tonight?

Crowd: (Yell in Sync) Good!

Seifer: NOOOO! NOT AGAIN AHHHHHHHH! (Run's off stage. No one pays attention expect Roxas and Leon, who are laughing quietly)

Host: (Eyebrows raised) Rightyo… Anyhow, folks don't forget to say howdy to tonight's judges! Zidane! (Waves his tail to the crowd), Sephiroth! (Sharping his masamune. The Host eyes it nervously) And tonight's new judge, as Aeris was sadly killed in a accident (Emphases accident while glaring at Zidane), please welcome… Kimarhi Ronso?

Kimarhi: Why Kimarhi judge? Kimarhi no female. One judge must be female.

Sephiroth: The monkey already fills that position. (Zidane doesn't notice, he's to busy randomly perving down girls fronts behind the judges table)

Zidane: (Waves hand at Sephiroth behind him) Yer… What you said… Totally…

Kimarhi: Kimarhi agree with sword man.

Host: Time for a message from our sponsors folks!

(Ad's play. Screen goes back to everyone looking bored. Tidus and Wakka are playing Tic Tac Toe, Cloud is playing on Zidane's PSP, and all the girls are reading magazines and doing each others hair)

Cloud: (Playing FFX) Dammit, stupid Tidus won't stop…

Tidus: (Who's sitting right next to Cloud) Gimme a break man! You try guarding that little brat… I mean Yuna (Yuna glares at Tidus)

Host: Ok folks! Time for tonights singer… The one… The only… RIKU! (Crowd go absolutely wild. People are already throwing their underwear up on stage)

Cloud: Oww they are throwing it before he starts to sing! They love him more! My life is over…

Leon: Grow up Strife.

Sora: Ooooh their first fight as a couple ( Leon and Cloud both glare at Sora)

Host: So Riku, what do you plan to sing tonight?

Riku: But its better if you do.

Host: WHAT? (Has to scream over Fangirls)

Riku: BUUUT ITTTTS BETTTTTER IIIIIF YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Host: THANK YOU.

Riku: YOUR WELCOME.

Host: HERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS, RIKU WITH 'ITS BETTER IF YOU DO' BY PANIC! AT THE DISCO (Emo's start slitting wrists. Music starts to play overhead)

Riku:

Now I'm of consenting age to be forgetting you in a cabaret  
Somewhere downtown where a burlesque queen may even ask my name  
As she sheds her skin on stage  
I'm seated and sweating to a dance song on the club's P.A.  
The strip joint veteran sweeps you away  
Smirking between dignified sips of his dignified peach and lime daiquiri

And isn't this exactly where you'd like me  
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know  
Praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety  
Oh, and isn't this exactly where you'd like me  
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know  
Praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety

(Kairi is looking at Riku with wide eyes while Sora is cracking up. Riku is half dirty dancing, causing the fangirls and some fanboys to scream)

Oh, but I'm afraid that I  
Well, I may have faked it and  
I wouldn't be caught dead in this place

Well I'm afraid that I  
Well that's right  
That I may have faked it and  
I wouldn't be caught dead in this place

(Everyone is singing along. The big blue kitty aka Kimarhi is trying to sing along to, and everyone near him are covering their ears with their hands.

And isn't this exactly where you'd like me  
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know  
Praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety  
Oh, and isn't this exactly where you'd like me  
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know  
Praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety

Well I'm afraid that I  
Well, I may have faked it and  
I wouldn't be caught dead in this place

Well I'm afraid that I  
Well that's right  
That I may have faked it and  
I wouldn't be caught dead in this place

(Kairi slaps Sora upside the head as he has started to snort with his laughter)

And isn't this exactly where you'd like me  
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know  
Praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety  
Oh, and isn't this exactly where you'd like me  
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know  
Praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety

Praying for love and paying in naivety  
Praying for love and paying in naivety

(Everyone starts jumping up and down and start screaming, even the Emo's. People start to protest as Kiamrhi finishs out of tune and time)

Random Crowd Person no. 1: WE LOVE YOU RIKU!

Random Crowd Person no. 2: WE LOVE YOU ANSEM ALSO! (The crowd suddenly goes into a shocked slience. Everyone is looking at the Random Crowd Person no. 2)

RCP no. 2: Heh heh... Uh... ANSEM PAYED ME! (Runs away very quickly)

Host: ... Ansem?

Ansem: I.. Uh... I erm... I think I left the oven on... (Quickly follows RCP no. 2)

Demyx: Sure sure.

Host: Ok judges, what you think?

Zidane: What?

Host: What do you think of Riku's singing Zidane (says through clentched teeth, spitting on half the crowd)

Crowd: Ewww.

Zidane: Oooh, was I ment to listen?

Host: Damn you Monkey boy (Starts muttering curses under his breath) So what do you think, Sephiroth? Kimarhi?

Kimarhi: Kimarhi sing better (Crowd start to gag)

Sephiroth: One of the better ones so far...

Host: There you have it folks! Till next time...

(End credits play. You see Siefer start running around like headless chicken, frightened and shouting "Their after me THEIR AFTER ME AGAIN!)

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Omg these are geddin lamer every time. I think the only one I really liked was Clouds... Oh well


	9. Axel

**Yes! I am still alive hehehehehe sorry for being so lazy and not updating coz ive had exams (Nothing major coz its only year 9, but its sill stressful) and ive been working on another fanfic (probably won't publish coz its a selfinsert, and not many people like them...) Anyhow, I had my last exam today! YAY! Xmas is coming people, which means 7 weeks off school! YAY (I luv living in New Zealand sometimes... ) Anyhow, they finish next thursday, therefore I shall be able to update a hell of alot more, as all I will be doing all day till xmas is going on the net...  
**

** Anyhow, Ive talked enough (everyone nodds) On with the contest!**

**I don't own the characters and the song. **

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(Lights flash around a cheering crowd. The screen does a shot of the crowd, the judges, the contestents, and finally the host)

Host: Hello folks, and welcome to tonights show of KINGDOM HEARTS IDOL, 2006

Crowd: (Roars with excitment and bounce up and down)

Host: And heres our judges tonight! Zidane! (Smiles at the crowd) Kimarhi! (Brushes off fangirls trying to pat his head like a cat) and Sephiroth! (Glares at everyone)

Zidane: How you doin'? (To random fangirl in the crowd, who faints)

Sephiroth: You killed the fangirl.

Zidane: What? She fainted coz of my good looks!

Sephiroth: Nooooo, she died coz you looked at her.

Zidane: (stands up on his seat in anger, starts punching air) HEY!? WANNA SCRAP?

Sephiroth: If we must (pulls out long sword thingy)

Zidane: (Gulps and suddenly looks very nervous) Erm... Forget that.

Kimarhi: Kimarhi think Zidane got ownt.

Zidane: O.o you know language from _now_?

Kimarhi: (Everyone notices that Kimarhi is wearing a hoody and has a big dollar sign bling thing) Kimarhi is a gangsta.

Zidane: Rightyo...

Kiamrhi: Kimarhi can rap better than Zidane.

Zidane: Wanna bet?

Host: AD'S!

(Ad's play, and then the screen goes back to the idol. Kimarhi has just finished rapping. The whole crowd is silent).

Random Crow Person: I shall never look at Ronso's the same way again... (Everyone nodds in agreement)

(Screen goes to the contestents, then does a close up on Riku and Sora).

Sora: (Looking completly inoccent like normal, Kingdom Hearts One styles) Riku?

Riku: Yes...? (Sipps on glass of water)

Sora: Where do babies come from?

Riku: (Chokes on his drink) What...!?!?!

Sora: I wanna know where babies come from!

Riku: Ummm... Well-

(Screen goes to Yuffie and Rikku)

Rikku: OMG OMG OMG

Yuffie: OMG WHAT?

Rikku: THAT REALLY HOT GUY OVER THERE JUST LOOKED AT ME! (Yuffie and Rikku start to squeal)

Leon: AUGH SHUT UP! (Rubs temples. Rikku and Yuffie just look at him and start to crack up.

Leon: (Sighs) Women...

(Screen goes back to Riku and Sora)

Sora: Soooo a male does...

Riku: (Nodds) Yep...

Sora: And then the women gets pregnant...?

Riku: Ahuh

Sora: Oh, then how come Kairis pregnant?

Riku: WHAT?!?!?!!

(Screen goes back to the host)

Host: Well its time for tonights contestent... A firey red head who enjoys Mexican and volcanos... The one, the only AXEL!!!!!!!!!

Crowd: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Demyx: Damn theres alot more fangirls than there use to...

(Axel walks to the middle of the stage next to the host)

Axel: (lazyily snaps his finger, a ball on fire appears on his palm) Hey people.

Host: So what are you goning to sing for us tonight?

Axel: Disco Inferno (starts to play with the fire) Got it memorized?

Host: Here you have it folks! Tonight singing Disco inferno is AXEL!

Axel:

Burn baby burn! Burn baby burn! Burn baby burn! Burn baby burn!  
Burnin'!

(Chucks random fire balls at the crowd)

To mass fires, yes! One hundred stories high People gettin' loose y'all gettin' down on the roof - Do you hear?  
(the folks are flaming) Folks were screamin' - out of control  
It was so entertainin' - when the boogie started to explode  
I heard somebody say

Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno!  
Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down  
Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno!  
Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down  
Burnin'!

(Axels fire suddenly goes out, causing him to look around confused. He doesnt notice Demyx laughing behind him, another ball of water in his hand)

Satisfaction (uhu hu hu) came in the chain reaction  
(burnin') I couldn't get enough, (till I had to self-destroy) so I had to  
self destruct, (uhu hu hu)  
The heat was on (burnin'), rising to the top, huh!  
Everybody's goin' strong (uhu hu hu)  
And that is when my spark got hot  
I heard somebody say

Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno!  
Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down, yoh!  
Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno!  
Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down  
Burnin'!

(Axel is dancing right accross the stage, fire dancing around him. Serval nobobies surround him and dance with him)

Satisfaction came in a chain reaction - Do you hear?  
I couldn't get enough, so I had to self destruct,  
The heat was on, rising to the top  
Everybody's goin' strong  
That is when my spark got hot  
I heard somebody say

(The crowd are going wild, while a few are running around on fire, yet no one seems to care)

Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno! (Aah yeah!)  
Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down  
Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno, yeah!  
Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down  
Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno! (Aah yeah!)  
Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down  
Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno, yeah!  
Burn baby burn! - Burn that mama down  
Burnin'!

I just can't stop  
When(till) my spark gets hot  
Just can't stop  
When my spark gets hot

Burning, burning, burning, burning...

(Axel finishes in a pose, when demyx suddenly completly drenches him with water.

Axel: WHAT THE...? DEMYX!!!!!!! (Demyx runs away with Axel chasing him. But before Axel reaches the edge off the stage where Demyx has jumped off into the crowd, Axel slips on the ground cause hes soaked)

Zidane and Kimarhi: Ownt...

Siefer: AHHHH NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Tries to run off stage but slipps on a puddle)

Host: CLEAN UP IN AISLE 3! (Magic brooms come on and start moping the floor)

Host: Well there you have it folks, till next time...!

(Screen shows Sora running away from an angry Kairi who is shouting 'I'm not pregnant!' and they both fall on a puddle)

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hehehehe is it just me, or does Sora look so innocent in KH1? Till next time folks...


	10. Moogles

**Hey people I'm back (yet again) hehehehe I'm sick so I have the day off school, and whats better to do when your bored and sick than to update?**

**Disclaimer: If you think I own any of this, then I would advise whatever drug you are taking I would stop taking it. **

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(Lights flash around the stage which is decorated with christmas decorations. The screen shows the judges wearing a santa hat (Kimarhi is wearing rudalf antlers) And the rest of the contestents are wearing santa hats.)

Host: Ho ho ho hello and welcome to tonights show folks!

Crowd: Yay (start pulling party crackers)

Host: Well arn't you lucky folks! Christmas is in the air (Sighs and then mutters so no one can hear him) And my goddamn bonus...

Random Voice Over Guy aka The Boss: What was that host?

Host: Ahhh, nothing.. Nothing... Ummm here are tonights judges! Zidane! (trying to kiss a disgruntled Dagger under some mistletoe) Kimarhi! (Trying to get the antlers off his head) and Sephiroth! (Sephiroth is trying to get rid of the tinsle on his sword)

Zidane: Oww common Dagger, look we're under the mistletoe, and you know what happens... (winks suggestivly and leans in for a kiss, but gets pushed back)

Dagger: Your so annoying! Augh! (Run's away and slips on puddles that havn't been cleaned up yet)

Host: Dammit, what happened to the cleaners?

Cloud: (Very knowingly) They went on strike.

Host: Wha...? Brooms and Mops can go on _strike_?

Rikku: Yup-yup!

Host: This thing is getting weirder by the minute... Why did they go on strike?

Zell: Coz they weren't getting enough money, duh.

Host: The magic brooms were getting _paid_...? AD'S!

(Ad's play and go back to the contestents surrounding a Xmas tree poking prezzies. The host is talking on his cellphone looking very serious)

Host: I Don't give a f-

(Screen goes back to contestents)

Sora: Yay santas comming!

Riku: You still believe in Santa? Oh, and let me guess... The ester bunny is to? (Note: he said this very sarcasticly)

Sora: Yep!

Kairi: Ow Riku stop teasing him!

Riku: Hmp, at least I'm not pregnant!

(Screen goes back to the host)

Host: Well give them more money!

(The voice on the phone yells something at him)

Host: So what! I don't think brooms have feelings!

(Screen goes to Cloud and Leon)

Cloud: (Frowning in concentration) Dammit... So close...

Leon: Cloud, when will you ever stop playing with the psp?

Cloud: (hugs psp) NEVER!!!! (Looks at psp and almost cries) YOU KILLED ME!

(Screen goes to excited contestents looking at presents, well present poking anyway)

Lulu: Oh, I wonder what this is Wakka... (Pokes a teddybear shaped present addressed to Lulu)

Wakka: I dunno mon (thinks hard while Lulu shakes head sadly)

Selphie: Oooooooh I wonder what this long, suspeciuosly skipping rope looking item is? (Pokes present)

Rikku: I have a box, I CAN'T POKE MY PRESENT! (Starts crying)

Host: (Slams fliptop phone down angryily) Dammit... Stupid brooms

Rikku: (Suddenly appears at the hosts side) Hey... Do you want that phone?

Host: Yes, now bugga off! (Rikku sulks and walks away, and mutters under her breath "I'll get you, and your pretty little phone to" like the witch in her favourite movie, the Wizard of Oz)

Host: Ok time for tonights singer... What this can't be right... (Frowns at the envelope in his hand). Moogles?

(Moogles start pouring out of everywhere and assemble on stage)

Crowd: OW SO CUTE! (Start trying to climb on stage to catch them. Servel gunshots go off)

Host: Anyone who tries to get on stage shall be shot (More gunshots goes off)

Moogles: KUPO! (More gunshots go off)

Seifer: I. CAN'T. TAKE. THIS. ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Runs away yet again, and runs _around_ the puddle)

Host: So, ahhh... What are you gonna be singing tonight?

Alpha Moogle: We are family kupo!

Runt Moogle: (Squeals) Yay kupo!

Host: Here you have it folks, The Moogles singing WE ARE FAMILY!

Moogles:

We are family I got all my sisters with me Kupo!  
We are family  
Get up ev'rybody and sing Kupo!

(More Gunshots go off. There are only 5 females and 20 males left from the crowd)

Ev'ryone can see we're together  
As we walk on by Kupo!  
(FLY!) and we fly just like birds of a feather  
I won't tell no lie Kupo!  
(ALL!) all of the people around us they say Kupo!  
Can they be that close  
Just let me state for the record Kupo!  
We're giving love in a family dose

(There are now only 1 female and 8 males left)

We are family  
I got all my sisters with me Kupo!  
We are family  
Get up ev'rybody and sing Kupo!

(Now there are only two males. Some of the female contestents are trying to grab the moogles now to, esp Lulu as she wants them to make into another voodo doll for battles)

Gangsta Moogle: (comes on with all kiamrhi's bling and starts to rapp the rest of the song)

Living life is fun and we've just begun  
To get our share of the world's delights Kupo!  
(HIGH!) high hopes we have for the future  
And our goal's in sight Kupo!  
(WE!) no we don't get depressed  
Here's what we call our golden rule  
Have faith in you and the things you do  
You won't go wrong Kupo!  
This is our family Jewel

(There are no crowd people left. All the moogles start to sing again)

We are family  
I got all my sisters with me Kupo!  
We are family  
Get up ev'rybody and sing KUPO!

(All the contestents jump on the moogles besides Cloud, who is still busy playing the psp)

Moogles: AUGH HELP! SOS! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!

(The guards aim their guns at the contestents who are grabbing at the moogles, red spots all on everyones head)

Host: Nooo! Don't shot the contestents!

Lulu: YAY I GOT ANOTHER ONE! (Holds it up by its pom pom)

Host: So judges, what do you think of tonights show?

Zidane: I want one...

Sephiroth: If I hear that infernal kupo again I will honestly throw Zidane at them.

Kiamrhi: Kimarhi want moogle pom poms...

Host: Well there you have it folks! Till next time...

(As the end crdits play, the screen shows moogles escaping only to have contestents chase them. The brooms (who are back off strike) start to clean up the dead bodies. The alpha moogle slips on a puddle, shoots off stage and lands in a rubish bin)

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I Luv moogles! Hehehehe do they count as a contestent? Oh well. Till next time folks...!


	11. Roxas

**Yay I'm back lol. Sorry it took me so to update, I discovered Deviant and havnt been able to stop going on, and I also managed to hire KHII (finally jeez) but I've only got it for three days ((sobs)). Life isnt fair. Oh, and I want to thank to thank all the reviewers -gives christmas cookies- YAY 2000 HITS! (throws confetti around) YAY THANK YOU! I'm moving now soon so the updates could be a bit slow, sorry! Sorry if some of the stuff in all the chappies have already been done before (eg Clouds and Leons first fight, and dying on the psp, OOOPS)  
**

**Tonights singer was requested by Pyro of the Uchiha Clan.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the song or KH or FF  
**

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(Lights flash as the theme song plays. The screen shows the host (whos wearing a santa suit) with all the contestents surrounding it. The screen then shows the judges. The screen then starts looking down people in the crowds tops)

Host: Oi! Camera guy! (the screen suddenly goes back to the host. He glares and nods, before returning his attention to the crowd again). Ho ho ho folks! Hello and welcome to another show of KINGDOM HEARTS IDOL, 2006!

Crowd: Yay! (Start screaming while waving around their new t-shirts, balloons, signs etc such as, 'ENCORE RAPPING CONTEST!', "WHERE THE HELL IS ROXAS?, and 'CLOUDS HAIR LOOKS LIKE ITS GOTTA BONER which is followed by a picture of Cloud with his spiky hair enlarged from Final Fantasy VII)

Host: And don't forget to give a warm welcome to our judges, Sephiroth! (Has now got mistletoe on his sword) Zidane! (Is now trying to steal the mistletoe), and Kimarhi! (Is wearing his gansta clothes again, rapping quietly to himself)

Sephiroth: Monkey.Boy. Leave. It. Alone! (Sephiroth swings his sword around, trying to get it out of his reach and in the process decaptating a few members of the crowd)

Zidane & Sephiroth: Ooooops...

Kimarhi: (Not paying attention and is bet boxing)

Host: Dammit! I thought I told you to stop killing people! Its only ok for the people with GUNS, not SWORDS! (shakes his head while pulling out his shiny cellphone. Rikku instantly appears at hi side)

Host: ADDDS! (Commercials play, and the screen goes back to the idol. Everyone is yet again surrounding the christmas tree.)

Host: (Yelling angryly on the phone). I don't care! We need to sort out the fact THAT PEOPLE WON'T STOP DYING AND... Hey are you listening to star trek...?

(Screen goes to Tidus and Yuna)

Tidus: (Humming a tune under his breath) I'm in love with a-

Yuna: With a what!? (Tidus suddenly very guilty)

(Screen goes to Rikku and the Host)

Rikku: You don't really need that phone... I can take it off your hands for you... Hint hint

Host: (Glares at her while still talking on the phone) And while I'mn here, can someone PLEASE clean up the large puddle of water on the stage...?

(Screen goes to Wakka and Lulu)

Wakka: Mon, I still can't figure what your present is...

Lulu: Dear, what WEAPON do I use?? Think along the lines of that...

(Screen goes to Roxas, Hayner, and Seifer)

Seifer: IT BURNS IT BURNS! (Seifer is running around, looking as though he is on fire. Which he is not.)

Roxas: He really lost it this time hasn't he...?

Hayner: Must of saw your ugly mug (punches Roxas playfuly in the stomach)

(Screen goes to Sora, Kairi, and Riku)

Riku: Hey Sora... What happened to Donald and Goofy?

Sora: OMG I FORGOT TO PICK THEM UP! (Runs off stage, jumping over the puddle)

Kairi: Ummmm thats 10 nights they have been at the trian station...

(Screen goes to Cid and Yuffie)

Yuffie: Seriously Cid, I think you should challenge him...

Cid: Ya really think so...?

(Screen goes back to Kairi and Riku.)

Riku: Soooo...

Kairi: So what?

Riku: Who's the father? (Looks pointly at her stomach)

(Screen goes to the host)

Host: Ok folks, sorry about that!

Random Crowd Person: Can you hurry up!

Rest of the crowd: YER!

Host: Ok, ok! Tonight contestents, Roxas! (Fangirls start screaming straight away) So Roxas, what are you going to sing tonight?

Roxas: A song off my album of course!

Host: What..? Your already a famous singer...? You can't be, this is a contest for people who WANT to become singers, not ALREADY are!

Roxas: Uh... Um... (laughs nervously) I'm not a singer, I-I made it up for a joke.

Host: Ok then, then what are you going to sing tonight?

Roxas: Beautiful soul, which IS NOT by me.

Host: Here you have it folks Roxas singing Beautiful soul, which he DID NOT sing.

(Lights flash as Roxas takes his place in the center stage.)

Roxas:

I don't want another pretty face  
I don't want just anyone to hold  
I don't want my love to go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul  
You're the one I wanna chase  
You're the one I wanna hold  
I wont let another minute go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul

(Fangirls are screaming, while the boys are getting abit pissed)

I know that you are something special  
To you I'd be always faithful  
I want to be what you always needed  
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

(Underwear is now falling on Roxas)

Your beautiful soul, yeah  
You might need time to think it over  
But im just fine moving forward  
I'll ease your mind  
If you give me the chance  
I will never make you cry cmon lets try

(Wedding rings are now being thrown at Roxas, with fangirls begging him to marry them)

Am I crazy for wanting you  
Baby do you think you could want me too  
I don't wanna waste your time  
Do you see things the way I do  
I just wanna know if you feel it too  
There is nothing left to hide

(The men are flexing their muscles as their women continue to try and get Roxas's attention)

I don't want another pretty face  
I don't want just anyone to hold  
I don't want my love to go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul  
You're the one I wanna chase  
You're the one I wanna hold  
I wont let another minute go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul

You beautiful soul, yeah

(All the contestents clap etc and the crowd is going nuts, well the women anyway)

Cloud, Axel, & Riku: We didn't get as much attention as him (start crying)

Host: Well judges, what do you think?

Zidane: (Rubbing black eye) Ow I got a black eye from a ring from the crowd... Hey, how could that have hit me when my backs facing the crowd...?

Sephiroth: I think that is the first contestent we have had that actual sounds like his voice. (Everyone nodds)

Kimarhi: Yo yo g, you need some rapping to make it more legit homey!

Roxas: Wha...?

Host: Well thats all for now folks, till next time...!

(End credits play as you see Cloud and co are still crying and Zidane is trying to figure who hit him in the eye, and you see Leon laughing suspiciously in the corner)

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**Will there ever be a rapping contest? What was Tidus huming? You'll have to stay tuned folks to find out!**


	12. Yuna

Hey folks I'm back (well just for tonight) Please excuse this chappie as Im using mums bf's computer and I'm trying to read all my emails -dies- I'm gonna be here for the two days jeez.

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Host: HELLO FOLKS AND WELCOME TO KINGDOM HEARTS IDOL, 2006!

Crowd: (only noise is crikets)

Host: I mean, 2007!!!! (fireworks go off and confetti rains down)

Crowd: WOOPWOOP!

Host: Sadly, the folks at home missed the christmas and new years espiodes.

Crowd: Awwww

Host: But never mind! Our contestents shall make up for it! (spotlight goes onto the contestents, who are briefly blinded)

Tifa: Not again...

Host: And who could forget our lovely judges! Zidane! (is asleep on the judging table) Kimarhi! (Playing with his tail) and Sephiroth! (Is playing with barbie dolls)

Sephiroth: (In high boys voice and makes the barbie hug the Ken doll) Oh Ken! Don't you look good!

Crowd: (Suddenly look very frightened)

Sephiroth: (in high girly voice and makes the Ken doll pull out a mini masamune) AHHH DIE BITCH DIE (starts stabbing the barbie doll manicly)

Host: Er, right.

(Screen goes to contestents. First is Riku, Sora, and Kairi)

Sora: (pokes Kairis swelling stomach) Soooo, whos the father?

Kairi: (slaps hand away) FOR THE LAST TIME IM NOT PEGGERS!

Riku: So, your just fat now?!

Kairi: AUGH!

(Screen goes to Luxord and Roxas who are in the middle of playing cards)

Roxas: 5?

Luxord: (pokes tongue out) Go fish

Roxas: (Grumbles) This is the the last time I play strip go fish with you (takes pants off so all he is wearing is sponge bob boxers)

Axel: (Raises eyebrows) Nice boxers

(Screen goes to Yuffie, Cloud, and Leon)

Cloud: (Who is finally not dying on the PSP or being distracted) For the last time Leon, how many times do I have to tell ypu NOT TO STEAL THE BLANKETS IN THE MIDDLE ON THE NIGHT!

Leon: I do not!

Sora: (Gets bored of watching Kairi and Riku fighting and joins in on Clouds and Leons) Another fight! Wooooo! Thats number 2..?

Yuffie: Number 3 publicly jeez Sora.

Cloud: (glares at Yuffie) Shut up Yuffie! Do you even know the menaing of those words!?

Leon: (shudders) Stalker much...

(Screen goes back to the host)

Host: Ok, time for tonights contestent, YUNA!

Crowd: Yay?

Yuna: (Gushes) OMG HI GUYS!

Crowd: ...

Host: So what will you be singing today?

Yuna: Oh gosh, umm 1000 words?

Crowd: (Groans, half put on ear muffs)

Host: Here you have folks! Yuna... (makes a quick retreat off the stage)

Yuna: (Changes into the dress-thats-not-hers-but-some-random-dead-girls)

I know that your hiding things  
Using gentle words to shelter me,  
Your words are like a dream  
But dreams could never fool me  
Not that easily..

(Crowd gasp because its not as bad as they thought it would be)

I acted so distant then, didn't say goodbye before you left  
But I was listening  
You'll fight your battles far from me  
Far too easily

(People start to motion to people with ear muffs on to take them off)

Save your tears, cause I'll be back back  
I could hear that you whipsered  
As you walked through that door  
But still I swore to hide all the pain as I turned back the pages

Shouting might have been the answer  
What if I cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart?  
But now I'm not afraid to say  
Whats in my heart...

Cause a thousand words call out through the ages  
They'll fly to you, even though I can't see  
I know there reaching you  
Suspended on silver sings- (Theres a loud noise like a tape stuffing up)

(Yuna doesn't realize the tape has stopped and is singing in her natural croaky voice)

Oh a thousand words  
One thousand embraces will craddle you  
Making all of your weary dasy seem far away  
They'll hold you for-

(Yuna stops as she finally notices that the musics gone. The crowd are running for the exit)

Yuna:(Starts screaming at the sound guys) HOW CAN I LIP SNYC WHEN YOU STUFF YOU THE TAPE YOU STUPID SON OF A B- (is interupted by a flying barbie doll head)

Sephiroth: (Holding rest of the barbie) Stand still... (Aims the body at Yuna)

Crowd: (Is completly empty as they ran for the doors)

Tidus: FAKE! (Is following the rest of the contestents flee)

Wakka: Brudda, shes your girlfriend.

Tidus: (glares at the red head) Sssh not so loud!

(The area is now completely empty besides Sephiroth, Yuna, and the host)

Host: Till next time folks! (Runs as fast as possible off the stage. End credits and theme song play)

Yuna: (Stamps feet and shakes fist at sound guys) I Was paying alot of money for that you fuc- OWWWWWWWWWWWWW (The barbie body hits her smack on the nose)

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Strange I know... Hopfully it makes sense to you lol.


	13. Tidus

YAY! I'm back, its offical! (happy dance)

(everyone shuffles away)

Oh fine JEEZ PEOPLE.

Enjoy XD

Disclaimer: I own dilly squat

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(Music starts pounding, waking up the crowd, who start groaning and yawning)

Host: Hello and welcome to... Er, what was this again? (Someone tells him through his microphone) Oh right, ahem hello and welcome to KINGDOM HEARTS, 2007!

Crowd: (In a unethusiastic tone) yay

Host: Now let me introduce our judges... Has anybody seen Zidane? (every one shakes their head) Fine, then we're gonna need a new judge.

Host: WHO VOLENTEERS!? (Sora puts his hand up)

Host: You can't do it! Your a contestant!

Sora: Sooo

Host: Soooo you can't do

Sora: I'll sue you

Host: Haha nice try but NOO!

Sora: (mock cries)

Zidane: (Crawls into his seat) Hewwwwwwwwwwwwo ooooh lights are so shiny

Kairi: Oh my, hes on a high

Riku: how would you know what being on a high is like

Kairi: ...

Host: Ok fine then, let me introduce, ZIDANE!!, KIMARHI!!, and SEP- (gasps)

Sephiroth: (In a high femine voice) Hewwo deary, my name is Betty now.

Host: (almost faints)

Someone from the crowd: NICE BOOB JOB SEPHIROTH!

Sephiroth/Betty: (In his normal voice) ITS FUCKING BETTY (reverts to femine voice) I mean, can you call me Betty? (batts eyelids)

Kairi: STOP POKING MY STOMACH! (Sora backs off)

Sora: I'ld say its a boy

Kairi: No. IM JUST FATTTT

Riku: Who would they admit their fat!?

(Screen goes to Cloud and Leon)

Cloud: Ooooh ooooooooooooooh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh YES YES YES!

Leon: Harder!

Cloud: (swings wii controler)

Leon: (also swings wii controler at tv they pulled into the studio thingy)

(screen goes to Cid)

Cid: Yo g, u legit my nigga?

Luxord: Pardon!?

Tidus: Yer bro! WESTSIDE!!!

Luxord: (slowly edges away)

Host: Time for tonights contestant... TIDUS!!

Yuna: Go baby!!

Tidus: (Covers face in embrassment)

Rikku: GO TIDUS

Tidus: (suddenly looks cheerful. Yuna looks at them in confusion)

Host: So what will you be singing tonight?

Tidus: (Leans into microphone so they can hear him clearly) IM IN LUV WID A STRIPER!! (Everyone points at Yuna and laughs)

Rikku: (Goes suddenly red)

Host: Well heres Tidus with IM IN LOVE WITH A STRIPER!

Tidus: Ew you are..?

Host: -.-

Tidus: (while everyone is still laughing) So, er, _whats she like_? (Gives host a sly wink)

(Music starts playing)

Tidus:

Goddamn Lil Mama U know u thick as hell u know what I'm sayin Matter fact After the club u know what I'm talkin bout Me and my niggas gone be together u know what I'm sayin I ain't gon worry bout them really though I'm just lookin at u Yea u know U got them big ass hips god damn! DAMN!

(Strippers appear out of underfloor hole thingys along with poles.)

Got the body of a godess got eye butter pecan brown i see you girl  
(droppin low) She coming down from the ceiling (to tha floo)  
Yea she know what she doing (yeea yey yea) she doing that right thang  
(yea yey yea) I Need to get her over to my crib and do that night thang  
(night thang) Cause I'm N Luv wit a stripper

(More strippers appear out of no where and start to dance/strip. Yuna looks pissed.)

She poppin she rollin she rollin She climbin that pole and  
(I'm N Luv with a stripper) She trippin she playin she playin  
I'm not goin nowhere girl I'm stayin I'm in luv wit a stripper

(Rikku throws a paper dart at Yuna to shut her up, which, naturally, hits her in the eye.)

Tifa: Yay it wasnt me- (Demyx throws one at her for good messure).

Tidus:

She can pop it she can lock it Teddy Penderass down  
I'm bout to see this sexy girl In  
My bed She don't know what she is doin To my head  
Yea She turnin tricks on me (Yea Yea Yea) She dont even know me  
(Yea yea yea ea) I'd have got her over to my crib to do that night thing  
Cause I'm N Luv Wit a Stripper

(Yuna, who seems to have recovered from having the 'paper dart of doom' in her eye tries to bitch slap one of the smallest strippers, who roundhouses her and knocks her out cold. The crowd cheer.)

Tidus: (Doesn't seem to care his 'girlfriend' is knocked out. Strippers continue to climb all over him.)

She poppin she rollin she rollin She climbin that pole and  
(I'm N Luv with a stripper) She trippin she playin she playin  
I'm not goin nowhere girl I'm stayin I'm in luv wit a stripper

(Song finish's, Strippers disappear into hidy holes.)

Host: (nosebleed)

Tidus: I wanna deicate this song to my stripper! (crowd gasps while Rikku looks like shes about to run.)

Tidus: ... (the suspence builds) SIMONE!

Rikku: (Sighs in relief before suddenly looking very pissed)

Simone: (the small one that knocked out Yuna). Oh gosh thanks babe!

Host: So crowd what do we think?

Crowd: (all males are having nosebleeds. Magic mops and brooms mop the floor.)

Tifa: (Running around still blinded)

Host: So what do we think judges?

Zidane: BOOBIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sephiroth/Betty: Oh.My.God. I BROKE A NAIL

Kimarhi: It was shit oi. Even your momma could sing betta than dat g!

Tidus: DON'T YOU DARE BRING MY MOTHER INTO THIS!

Kimarhi: Your mommas so fat- (Tidus jumps on him and they start fighting)

Host: Well, to next time folks!

(end music plays. You see Cloud smaking Leon over the head with a wii controler for beating him and Kimarhi is yelling more "Yo momma" jokes.)

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Why is Rikku so uncomfortable with the whole stripper factor? Is she hiding something? Will we ever see the rapping contest?

AND WILL WE EVER FIND OUT WHO THE FATHER OF KAIRIS BABY IS?

Tune in for the next episode of KINGDOM HEARTS IDOL: 2007


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